Nobody Insanity
by SymphonicMetalChocobos
Summary: Organization XIII is back and ready for more! Organization XII Gone Retarded is back and better than ever! Most of the old chapters and even more new stuff! Also interruptions from even more new people. ON PERMANANT HIATUS.
1. Chapter 1

"Hello? Yo, anyone here?" A surfer vioce yelled into the darkness.

"Number II, would you kindly shut up? We have no idea where we are."

"Ah, be quiet, ya ass-kisser." SMACK! Xigbar smacked saix upside his head. "Nothin's gonna happen."

"Oh really...." Saix said in mock sarcasm, rolling his yellow eyes.

"Yeah." Xigbar yelled into the sky randomly.

**"Wait for it..." SMC inturrupted, breaking the fourth wall.**

"Don't break the fourth wall." A boy's voice said.

"Sora?!" Xigbar exclaimed.

"Yeah. You stupid nobodies hypnotized me and made my head explode!!!!" Sora yelled.

"Oh yeah. Good times..." Xigbar said.

**"Cue flashback!" SMC yelled.**

Doo doo doo doo dooooooo......

30 MINUTES AGO......

"Hello, Sora." A random deep voice calls.

"Who the hell are you!!" Sora yells.

"Come to the weird cliff slash wall thing."

Sora and his retarded friends run through a arch to where the voice said.

**"Remember in Hollow Bastion when Organization XIII showed up on that wall thing?" SMC says.**

Organization XIII appears on the wall.

"Fear us, the CARANOBODIES!!!!" The guy with the deep voice says.

"What the?" Donald slurred.

Suddenly, Caramelldansen speedy cake remix starts playing.

"Okay, where the hell is that music coming from?" Sora asks.

"KICK IT!" The guy with a deep voice says.(Xemnas)

"The CURSE OF THE CARANOBODIES!!!!" Luxord yells.

**"Or, MANSEX!" SMC says.**

OOAAAH ......

Organization XIII starts doing the Caramelldansen dance.(ALL of them.)

When you are ready to join us now ?  
hands in the air, we can show you how  
Come and try, Caramell will be your guide (be your guide)  
So come and move your hips singing wah ha ha  
Come and dance like this singing la la la  
You and me, can sing this melody

"MUST....RESIST.....DANCE CRAZE!!!!" Sora screams. But the music takes over....Sora starts doing the Caramelldansen!

"Oo oah oo oah oah a!" Xemnas yells.

Dance to the beat, Wave your arms together  
Come feel the heat forever and forever  
Dance and you'll learn it is time for prancing  
Now we are here with Caramell dansen

"Oo oo oo oah oah  
Oo oo oo oah oah ah ah  
Oo oo oo oah oah  
Oo oo oo oah oah ah ah!" Saix yells.

Now, the background is pictures of countries. They end up with a background of Sweden first.

From Sweden to UK we will bring our song  
Australia, USA and people of Hong Kong  
They will learn, Caramell will go around the world (oo oah oo oah ah ah)  
Come and move your hips singing wah ha ha  
Come and dance like this singing la la la  
you and me, can sing this melody

"CARAMELLDANSEN!!!" Xaldin screams.

"Oo oah oo oah ah ah!" Xemnas yells.

Dance to the beat  
Wave your arms together  
Come feel the heat forever and forever  
Dance and you'll learn it is time for prancing  
Now we are here with Caramell dansen

"Oo oo oo oah oah  
Oo oo oo oah oah ah ah  
Oo oo oo oah oah  
Oo oo oo oah oah ah ah" Demyx sings.

Dance to the beat, wave your arms together  
Come feel the heat forever and forever  
Dance and you'll learn, it is time for prancing  
Now we are here with Caramelldansen  
Oo oo oo oah oah  
Oo oo oo oah oah ah ah  
Oo oo oo oah oah  
Oo oo oo oah oah ah ah

Then, Organization XIII stops.

"Bye." Xemmnas says. They all portal away. Xigbar portals to the staircase where Sora is. Sora is still dancing.

"For the love of god, I CAN'T STOP!!!!" Sora screams.

"LOL!" Xigbar laughs." He gave me that exact same look when we hypnotized him!!"

"Who?" Sora asks. He is temporarily sidetracked.

"Your nobody-"

"Don't say it!" A Director yells.

"Fine!!!." Xigbar yells back.

"!!!!" Sora screams before his head explodes.

BWOOOOOOOOSH!

Lots of red skittles fall out onto the stone.

"Sweet! Skittles." Xigbar picks up the skittles and begins to eat some. Then the god from Monty Python and the Holy Grails appears out of some fake clouds that were in the sky.

**"Don't eat skittles out of other peoples heads." GOD says.**

"Fuck off! You don't own me!!" Xigbar yells.

**"What did you just say to me?! Heeeeellll, no." GOD yells.**

"BRING IT!" Xigbar says.

GOD jumps down from the clouds and proceeds to get into a brawl with Xigbar.

WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!.........

**"End flashback." SMC said.**

"WTF?!" Everyone but Xigbar said.

"God started it." Xigbar crossed his arms.

WHAM! A massive pink meteor slammed into Saix and Sora. Sora dies.

"Ugh....."

"Ha ha!" Xigbar laughed at Sora and Saix.

"As usual, obnoxious." A old, creepy voice said.

"I'm not old!"

"Hey, it's Vexing Vexen! Yo." Xigbar said.

Vexen randomly appeared in a poof of tiny trees and frogs.

"Oh, says the dude who cooks crack?" Xigbar muttered in a sarcastic tone, rolling his eye.

"HOLD IT." Suddenly, fifty F.B.I guys dropped from the sky. They had guns pointed at the Nobodies.

"What the bloody hell?"

BANG!

A F.B.I guy shot Luxord's arm off.

"That as my squeezing arm!" Luxord screamed, dropping to his knees."THEY TOOK MY SQUEEZING ARM!!! MY SQUEEZING ARM?! WHHYYY!!!"

Everyone looked at him.

"We're the F.B.I" The lead FBI guy said, ."Who has crack?"

"Him!." Xigbar yelled, pointing at Vexen."The creepy scientist dude make it!"

"What?! I DO NO SUCH THING!" Vexen protested, waving his arms around.

SMACK! Vexen's arm hit a bird.

"Watch it." The bird said, flying off.

"Get him. He's convicted of crackheadity and hitting a bird." A FBI woman said.

A FBI guy threw a rock at Vexen.

WHAM!

CRACK.

"MY !!!!" Vexen shrieked at the top of his lungs, falling on his knees."!!!!"

"BWAHAHAHAH!" Xigbar laughed and pointed at a screaming Vexen.

"I HATE YOU!!" Vexen screamed.

Saix stood up and threw a rock at Xigbar. Xigbar dodged using Super Awesome Ninja Surfer Skills provided by Burger King.

"Ha! You missed. Your aim sucks." Xigbar said.

WHAM!

"Ow." The nobodies heard a deep voice state.

"Lexaeus?" Saix raised an eyebrow.

Lexaeus summoned his tomahawk."I pity the fool who hit me with a rock."

"Hey, it's against some law that I won't say because it doesn't exist, to impersonate or quote Mr.T." Mr. IBF said.

"Shut up." BAM! Lexaeus smacked Mr. IBF upside his bald head. His brain exploded and blue exclamation points hit the ground.

"Well, that was retarded." Xigbar commented.

"Like you aren't." Saix said.

BANG.

Xigbar shot Saix with his guns.

"Retarded is an ugly word." A pink haired girl walked-

"Boy."

"Sure...." SMC rolled his eyes. A pink haired BOY walked out, flower petals coming from his head.

"Shut up, you transvestite." Xigbar stick his tongue out at Marluxia.

"Why is there a plant growing out of your head?" A bleeding Saix said. There was a pink flower growing out of Marluxia's brains and head. His brain was made up of dirt and roots. He lost it in Chains of Memories.

"I really have no idea."

"Right..." Xigbar crossed his arms.

"HELLLO? MY NOBODIES? WHERE ARE YOU?" A deep booming voice called.

"Xemnas?" Lexaeus asked.

"Xemmy!" Saix yelled.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT IN PUBLIC. WOULD YOU ALL COME HOME?"

"We don't know where we are." Luxord said.

Suddenly, a hude tidal wave killed them all.

"MY POOR INSANE NOBODIES....." Xemnas shook his head.

* * *

Review.


	2. Organization XIII goes To The Doctor!

Yay! Organization XIII Gone Retarded is back! Get ready for all the orignal retardation plus all new stuff!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the hardly noticeable storyline.

Warnings: Violence, Language, Fighting, Holyness, Retardation, Protective Fathers

The next day, everyone had to get revived and XEMNAS got a call from the Hollow Bastion Doctor's Office. They were 15 years overdue for appointments. Also just so happened that XIGBAR hit his head and became retarded.

**"In the meeting room....." SMC said.**

"Nobodies, the time has come for us to go to the doctor." Xemnas announced.

"BUT WE DON WANNA GO!" Everyone yelled.

"We are going whether you retards like it or not!" Xemnas growled. There was a red anger sign above his head.

XEMNAS quickly portaled everyone to the doctor's office.

XEMNAS walked up to the counter."Organization XIII is here for appointments."

"The Doctors will see the first three of you in a minute." Yuffie said, popping bubble gum.

_'Dumbass girl...'_ XEMNAS thought."Thank you..."

XEMNAS went and sat down in one of the chairs. Then, Doctor CLOUD came out.

"Xemnas, come in please." Dr. CLOUD said. He sounded extremely boring.

**XEMNAS**

"So, Xemnas, what seems to be the problem?" Dr. CLOUD asked.

"I really need some anti-stress medicine or I'm going to go insane." XEMNAS sighed.

"Okay, I'll sign the prescription for...What's this?(Checks papers) Hmm, you need your annual flu shot."

"OBJECTION!" Ace Attourney PHIONEX WRIGHT yelled from outside the window.

"What the hell? Not him again..." Dr. CLOUD said."GUARDS!"

They watch as 3 huge guys go and tackle PHIONEX WRIGHT.

"Bastard..." Dr. CLOUD murmured.

"Well shoot....Oh well, just give me the shot. I do NOT wanna get sick and have to deal with those retards." Xemnas lifted up his sleeve.

Dr. CLOUD walked over to the counter and pulled out a two foor long needle and filled wit with green bubbly liquid. Then he stabbed XEMNAS in the arm.

"GODDAMN!"

"(Puts a band-aid on Xemnas' arm) Here's your prescription. It relived stress for 24 hours. Take it once a day."

"Thanks...." XEMNAS looked at Dr. CLOUD like he was crazy.

"I can see why you call them retarded, one of them was banging his head against the fish tank like a maniac."

**XIGBAR**

" So what's the problem?" Dr. LEON asked.

"(Angry) I DON HAVE A PROBLEM!" XIGBAR screamed.

_'The way you were banging your head, you must have one.' _Dr. LEON thought."Appearently, you need your FLU shot and ADHD shot."

"(Starts failing around like a complete maniac) I DON WANNA SHOT! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" XIGBAR starts screming at the top of his lungs.

"NURSE!" Dr. LEON yelled, trying to grab XIGBAR's arms.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH"

_SMACK!_

XIGBAR smacked the spit out of LEON.

"NURSE! GOOD GOD!"

Then, the door opened and SEPHIROTH came in with two giant six foot needles and he was in a nurse outfit. SEPHIROTH'S theme starts playing.

"SE-PHI-ROTH!" The CHORUS FROM HEAVEN says.

"OH MY GOD! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" XIGBAR shrieked, staring at the needles.

"(Hands needles to Dr. LEON) I'll knock him out." N. SEPHIROTH yawned.

N. SEPHIROTH took out a giant hammer and whacked XIGBAR over the head with it.

_WHAM! SMACK! _

XIGBAR hit the wall and fell on the floor.

_'Jesus Christ'_ Dr. LEON thought. He took the needles and jabbed them in XIGBAR's arm.

**XALDIN**

"So, your Xaldin. What wrong?" Dr. Aerith smiled.

"You're pretty..." XALDIN is drooling.

"Oh damn....DOCTOR CLOUD!" N. AERITH screamed.

Dr. CLOUD came in.

"What's---Not again." Dr. CLOUD is extremely mad. He pulls out a pair of glasses and put them on XALDIN. They show XALDIN unspeakable things.

"MY EEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS! IT BURNS!" XALDIN screeched.

Then N. AERITH pulled out a needle and shoved it in XALDIN's arm.

"Hey Cloud, Lemme hold a dollar." XALDIN said.

"Just get the hell out." Dr. CLOUD hands XALDIN a dollar.

XALDIN tried to run out of the room, but he ran into the wall.

_WHAM!_

Then he left. The three returned to the waiting room and VEXEN, LEXAEUS, and ZEXION went in.

**VEXEN**

"I'm not gonna beat around the bush, you need a flu shot." Dr. CLOUD sighed.

"We nobodies are incapable of producing bacteria or obtaining the bacteria to produce the Flu virus." VEXEN said in a snobby tone.

**"We all know he sounds retarded." SMC interrupts.**

"I thought you guys lost your emotional hearts not your god damn organ systems."

"Well, little cute boy---" VEXEN is interrupted.

"O _ O" Dr. CLOUD is scared.

He shoves the needle in VEXEN's arm before screaming and running away, yelling 'child molestor'.

**LEXAEUS**

"So, you ready for your flu shot?" Dr. LEON asked.

There is no response.

"Okay then."

Dr. LEON tried to shove the needle in LEXAEUS' arm, but the muscle is too damn big.

"Well, I'ma gonna hafta use the big needle."

Dr. LEON pulls out a needle that is 7 feet long.

"(Grunts) That hurt." LEXAEUS said.

"Do you want a hello kitty band-aid?"

"YAY!"

Dr. LEON gives the band-aid to LEXAEUS.

"NOW GET THE HELL OUT!" Dr. LEON yelled.

"Wha-" LEXAEUS is confused.

"OUT!"

**ZEXION**

"So, Zexiom is it?" N. AERITH said.

"Zexion." ZEXION said.

"Ready for your flu shot?"

"We nobodies can't get germs."

"Well the new flu virus can inffect nobodies." N. AERITH Said, smiling creepily.

"JESUS CHRIST, GIVE ME THE SHOT, NOW!" ZEXION screamed.

"(Anime sweatdrop) Calm down..." N. AERITH gives ZEXION the shot.

"Thank you!" Zexion sighed.

"What's wrong with you?"

"I'm deathly afraid of germs."

"Well, you're surrounded by them all the time and you have them in you."

"What......AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" ZEXION shrieked and passed out.

VEXEN and LEXAEUS drug ZEXION into the waiting room, and SAIX, AXEL, and DEMYX went in.

**SAIX**

"Okay, Saix, time for you rabies shot and flu shot." Dr. CLOUD sighed.

"I thought nobodies couldn't get sick."

"This flu inffects nobodies."

"Oh..." Saix said."(Goes berserk) I DON WANNA HAVE MY RABIES SHOT! ROOOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR!

SAIX jumped on CLOUD and proceeded to maul him.

_WHAM! CLANK! SMACK! SLAM! WHAM! CLANK! SMACK! SLAM!_

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! NNUUUURRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEE!" Dr. CLOUD shrieked.

RIKU came in with 2 giant 8 foot long needles. He was also in a nurse's outfit.

"Lemme me get him...." RIKU said.

He shoved both the needles in SAIX's ass. Then he hit SAIX over the head.

"Shouldn't you have hit Saix over the head first?" Dr. CLOUD asked.

"Probably." RIKU shrugged.

"Oh right, I've been mauled." Dr. CLOUD falls on the floor dramaticly and starts hyperventilating and shaking."I-I need a d-doctor....I'm epileptic!"

**"If you're wondering where this came from, it came from the movie, The Pest." SMC said. **

**AXEL**

"Please don't make this any harder than it has to be." Dr. LEON said.''

"What's your problem?" Axel asked.

"I've been mauled by a guy with a eyepatch."

"Ah, okay. The guy's retarded."

Dr. LEON takes the needle and enjects the medicine into AXEL's arm.

'Thank God...." LEON thought.

"DON'T COUNT ON IT!" GOD said.

"WTF. O . o" AXEL said.

**DEMYX**

"Hello Demyx!" N. AERITH said.

"Hiya!"

"Ready for your flu shot?"

"Sure." DEMYX said.

N. AERITH gives DEMYX the shot. It hurts for 2 seconds.

"Sweet! It barely hurt!"

"Do you want some Sea-Salt Icecream?"

"YAY!" N. AERITH give DEMYX the icecream bar.

"You're better than the dreadlocked man." N. AERITH said.

"Why?(Licks icecream)" DEMYX asked.

"He fell in love with me and we had to show him unspeakable things."

"What kind of unspeakable things?"

"(Low demon voice) UNSPEAKABLE THINGSZ! MWAHAHAH!" N. AERITH laughs like a maniac.

"OH CRAP! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" DEMYX runs away.

The pitch of his screams make AERITH's boobs explode.

_BAM! BAM!_

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Dr. CLOUD screamed.

**"That comes from Don't Mess With the Zohan, something that will have more references, along with other things." SMC said.**

DEMYX and AXEL had to drag SAIX back into the waiting room and LUXORD, MARLUXIA, and LARXENE went in. XIGBAR is still banging his head against the fish tank.

_BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!_

"MAKE THIS RETARD STOP!" The FISH screamed.

**LUXORD**

"Are you ready?" Dr. CLOUD asked._'Please don't hurt me...'_

"Guess so." LXUORD lifted up his sleeve.

"Thank god I didn't get mauled or molested."

"Guy with blue hair and a X-shaped scar, and a old blond haired man?"

"Yep."

"Figures."

Dr. CLOUD gives LUXORD the shot.

"Thank you!" Dr. CLOUD starts praising the lord with gospel music.

"Hell no." LUXORD said. He summoned his cards.

_SHINK! SHINK! SHINK! SHINK! SHINK! SHINK! _

Dr. CLOUD gets a million paper cuts.

**MARLUXIA**

"Are you gay?" Dr. LEON asked.

"Why yes I am." MARLUXIA said."Wanna kiss?"

MARLUXIA unzips his coat. He is wearing nothing but some speedos.

"MY EYES! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Dr. LEON starts rolling on the floor and screaming.

"Fine..." MARLUXIA rezips his coat.

"I'm fine now." Dr. LEON gets up off the floor like nothing happened and gives MARLUXIA the shot.

"Homophobic idiot..." MARLUXIA said under his breath.

A bunch of swordfish come and take MARLUXIA away.

"Thanks, GOD!" Dr. LEON cried.

_BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!_

A bolt of lightning struck LEON.

"I HATE YOU!" GOD roared.

**LARXENE**

"Hello!" N. AERITH greeted.

"JUST do it, goddammit!" LARXENE hissed.

"Well okaaaay...(Pulls out a needle) Get ready."

Small bolts of lightning starts erupting from LARXENE.

"NO one said anything about a shot!" LARXENE roared and jumped on AERITH.

**"Actually, Xemnas, told evryone that they were getting shots. Dang short term memory loss..." SMC sighed.**

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! CLOUD! SAVE ME!" AERITH screeched.

Dr. CLOUD rushed in with his sword. He swung his sword and whacked LARXENE in the head. N. AERITH quickly gave LARXENE the shot.

"Thank you." N. AERITH said.

"You're welcome.." CLOUD smirked.

Cricket chirp.

They start having sex.

"Gross, what the hell." GOD says. He sentences them to eternal hell.

**IN HELL......**

"Hey." Hades said.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" AERITH and CLOUD screamed.

A little boy walks up.

"This is my nephew, I'm keeping him."

"AIHLUIGLIGL()&*%&*^#^" The Little boy starts foaming at the mouth as his head turned 360 degrees.

"Not again."

_SMACK!_

Hades kicked the boy.

AERITH and CLOUD faint.

**BACK AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE......**

LUXORD, MARLUXIA, and LARXENE came back out and ROXAS went in.

ROXAS

"I'll be taking over for Dr. CLOUD, he went to hell." Dr. LEON shrugged.

"O . o Okay..." ROXAS looked at Dr. LEON. "Did you happened to get mauled by a guy with a eyepatch?"

"Yes...." Dr. LEON hissed.

"He's my adoptive father." ROXAS grinned.

"Oh is he? :D" Dr. LEON grinned evilly and then he pulled out a knife.

"Oh GOD... O . O" ROXAS's eyes got wide."XIGBAR!"

XIGBAR runs in with sword.

"What the hell do you think yer doin'?" XIGBAR asked.

"I thought he was retarded!" Dr. LEON cried.

"I'm only retarded 90% of the time....."XIGBAR's eye turned red.

"Oh shit."

"ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR!"

_WHAM! CLANK! SMACK! SLAM! WHAM! CLANK! SMACK! SLAM! WHAM! CLANK! SMACK! SLAM! WHAM! CLANK! SMACK! SLAM! WHAM! CLANK! SMACK! SLAM! WHAM! CLANK! SMACK! SLAM!_

XIGBAR mauled LEON.

"Ugh..." LEON died.

"Yay for Xigbar!" ROXAS yelled.

XIGBAr picked ROXAS up and took him out of the room.

**IN THE WAITING ROOM....**

"The bill is 16,000 munny." Yuffie told Xemnas.

"Okay...(Pays the munny)"Xemnas though for a moment."That's too damn much! We are never coming here again!"

"The doctor's don't want you back and neither do I!" Yuffie shouted.

"FINE!"

_SLICE!_

XEMNAS sliced Yuffie's head off, took back all his money, and portaled the rest of Organization XIII back to the Castle That Never Was.

**A FEW HOURS LATER IN THE MEETING ROOM.....**

**"So what did you guys learn?" SMC questioned.**

XIGBAR raised his hand.

"72!" XIGBAR yelled.

"Oh Xigbar..." Everyone sighed.

**"Now let's get a answer from who's not a comeplete retard."**

SAIX raised his hand.

**"Yes?"**

" Doctor's are evil, like robots!" SAIX said.

**"That's right! Now go to sleep." SMC lets loose a cannister of sleeping gas.**

Everyone passed out.

**"See you all next chapter!" SMC yelled."But first, your chapterly, SCENE SHOW! This one is short because my creative impulses are a bit low."**

"Where's Xemnas?" Saix asked.

"In his office." Lexaeus said.

XEMNAS is in his office playing with some ducks made out of yarn.

"(Talking for DUCK 1) I luv youuuu." XEMNAS cooed."(Talking for DUCK 2) But I'm married...(DUCK 1) Then let's have sex-"

LEXAEUS opened the door.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" XEMNAS screamed and flung the ducks into the wall.

_WHAM! CRASH!_

The ducks knock down a picture.

"Superior?"

**TO BE CONTINUED....**

Review please!


	3. SUPER RETARDED AWESOME VACATION TIME!

The next day, Organization XIII decided that after that ordeal yesterday, that they were going to go on vacation.

"Today, we will pack up, and go on a vacation, to Destiny Islands!" XEMNAS announced. He happened to be dressed in a hawaiian shirt and khaki shorts.

"YAY!" Everyone yelled and started dancing.

"No go pack!"

Everyone portaled away to their rooms.

**1 HOUR LATER...**

Everyone got loaded onto Organization XIII's new gummy ship. The other one got tore up by air sharks and other creatures that really are not supposed to fly.

"Okay Xaldin, Drive!" XEMNAS ordered.

"Fine..." XALDIN mumbles.

XALDIN starts the ship and drives away. He 'forgets' to mention that he has no idea how to get to Destiny Islands. 4 hours later, XALDIN lands on a small island in the middle of the ocean.

"Where are we?" XEMNAS asks.

"Destiny..Islands?...:D" XALDIN says.

"This isn't Destiny Islands, retard."

"XALDIN!" Everyone yells.

"Is it that hard to get to Destiny Islands?" XEMNAS shakes his head.

"I don't know!" XALDIN shouts.

_SMACK!_

XEMNAS smacked XALDIN out of the chair.

"Vexen, drive." XEMNASD points to VEXEN.

VEXEN is playing Pokemon on Xigbar's Nintendo Dsi.

"Give it back!" XIGBAR screams in VEXEN's ear.

"GAH!" VEXEN says."GET OFF ME YOU FOOL!"

"VEXEN, YOU DRIVE RIGHT NOW! AND GIVE XIGBAR HIS DSI BACK!" XEMNAS screeches.

"Fine!"

VEXEN gets up and starts driving the Gummi Ship.

**4 MORE HOURS LATER...**

Organization XIII arrived in the abandoned castle. Then, SORA ran in and stole their coke.

"HAH!" SORA yells.

"NO, NOT THE COKE!"

"It'll be okay, Lexaeus go to the police station." Xemnas says.

"One portal to the police station later," SMC says.

LEXAEUS arrives outside the police station. A bear comes out, which happens to be a guard. The bear attacks LEXAEUS.

'OH SHIT!" LEXAEUS screams. He wrestles the bear for 3.48 seconds before he is dragged into the police station.

"Are you okay?" ZELL, from Final Fantasy 8, asks.

"I'm fine," LEXAEUS says, getting up and brushing himself off."I wish to report a burglary."

"Speak up please." ZELL says.

"I wish to report a burglary." LEXAEUS repeats.

"I cannot hear you, sir." ZELL shakes his head.

"(Bellowing very loud) I WISH TO REPORT A BURGLARY!" LEXAEUS bellows.

"That's a little bit too loud. Can you say it just a little less loud than that?" ZELL asks.

"(A little louder than normal) I wish to report a burglary." Lexaeus growls.

"No..I'm still not getting anything.." ZELL insists."Can you try it in a higher register?"

"Wha? What do mean a higher register?" LEXAEUS exclaims.

"What?" ZELL looks at LEXAEUS like he didn't understand a word LEXAEUS said.

"Grrrr.." LEXAEUS growled."(louder and more high pitched) I wish to report a burglary."

"Report a what?"

"(Ridiculously high-pitched squeak) Burglary!"

"That's the exact frequency...now keep it there." ZELL says.

Then, another sergeant enters and went around the back of the near by counter.

"(high-pitched voice) Hello, sarge!" WAKKA says.

"(In a very deep voice) Hey, Wakka." ZELL reponds.

By now, LEXAEUS steaming with anger. Nonetheless-

"Fart." Mickey Mouse interrupts.

WHAT THE FUCK? SHUT UP!

"Meep." DiZ says.

WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE COMING FROM FROM?

"Ni!" ANSEM the WISE says.

ANSEM the WISE, DiZ, MICKEY MOUSE, DONALD, and GOOFY appear.

"No, not the Knights who say Ni!" ZELL yells.

"Ni!" They scream.

WAKKA and ZELL start cowering in fear, behind LEXAEUS.

"You must bring us...(dramatic pause) A SACRIFICE!" ANSEM the WISE yells.

"Ni, Ni, NI, NI, NI!" The other knights say.

"Ow. Ow. Agh..." ZELL and WAKKA groan in pain for no reason.

"What do you want?" LEXAEUS asks.

"We want...A SHRUBBERY!" ANSEM yells. There is a dramatic chord.

"A what?" LEXAEUS scratches his head.

"Ni, Ni, NI, NI, NI!" The other knights say.

The sound is starting to get on LEXAEUS' last nerve.

"Okay, no more! We will bring you a shrubbery!" LEXAEUS agrees.

"One that is nice!" MICKEY MOUSE says.

"And expensive!"

"And animal shaped!"

"Yes." LEXAEUS nods.

"Now..." ANSEM pauses."GO!

**IN GOD DOESN'T KNOW WHERE...**

A NARRATOR starts explaining things the reader already knows.

"So, Lexaeus, Zell, and Wakka will leave on a quest to find a nice, expensive, animal-shaped shrub-AAaaaahhaajah!"

SLASH!

A KNIGHT runs by, slashes the NARRATOR, killing him. Then, the DIRECTOR runs out.

"BOB!" The DIRECTOR yells.

**5 HOURS LATER...**

"Okay, I don't think Lexaeus is coming back anytime soon." XEMNAS sighed."Numbers 4, 6, 10, 11, and 12, go to wal-mart and get new stuff."

XEMNAS hands VEXEN and 3 slips of paper.

AT THE DESTINY ISLANDS WAL-MARRT...

"Okay..." VEXEN said."List Number one...Coke, Beer, Sake, Fritos, Fruit Loops, Skittles and Sugar. We'll take that."

"List 2, Hershey's, Reese's, a bag of Lays Sour Cream and Onion chips, Pancake Mix, Cookies, and M&Ms." Zexion sais.

"I'll take that." LUXORD snatched the list out of ZEXION's hand.

"And number 11 and 12, you get list 3."

And the members walked off to get the various foods, half of which will be used in the next chapter.

**WITH VEXEN AND ZEXION...**

"Okay's here's Coke...and beer and sake."

VEXEN dumped the drinks in the cart they stole from LEON.

"HEY?" LEON screams. He is tied to a chair, that is strapped to a display in the sporting goods section.

"GRRRRRR..."

"N-Nice heartless...N-Nice! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

LEON starts getting mauled by a pack of Shadow Heartless.

WHAM! SMACK! BAM! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

The Heartless are trying to saw LEON in half.

"!"

"SHUT UP!" VEXEN yelled.

"(Grabs Fritos) Here's these..."

When ZEXION grabbed the Fritos, a black, evil, demonic hand reached out from inside the bag and started pulling him in.

"VEXEN, VEXEEEEEENNN! HELP MEH!" ZEXION shrieked.

"OH MY KINGDOM HEARTS." VEXEN tried to pull the bag off of ZEXION."LET HIM GO!"

"NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..." The demon growled.

"STOP IT!" VEXEN cried.

"NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..."

"IT THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY?" ZEXION screamed.

"..."

"Is...Xigbar retarded some of the time?" Vexen said.

"..."

Everyone snickered.

"LET GO!"

_SLAP!_

VEXEN slapped the bag.

"!"

_BOOSH._

The demon exploded.

"I almost died from a Frito demon.." ZEXION stared at the bag.

"Leave them." VEXEN hissed.

ZEXION threw the bag to the floor and stomped on it.

"Here's Fruit Loops and Skittles..."

"And sugar." ZEXION added.

"I wonder how the others are doing?" VEXEN asked the sky.

"SHUT UP!" The SKY shouted.

_BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!_

A bolt of lightning electrocuted VEXEN.

**MEANWHILE WITH LUXORD...**

"Here's the Hershey's and Reese's.." LUXORD murmured to himself.

LUXORD went down the aisle dumping stuff into the cart.

"(sees red pancake mix) Hmmm?" LUXORD stared at the pancake mix.

There also was blue, green, pink, and regular pancake mix. LUORD dumped all the pancake mix he could into the cart.

"My name?" LUORD said.

**"Sorry..." SMC said.**

Suddenly, LUORD ran by and smakced LUXORD.

_SMACK!_

"WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK?" LUXORD yelled, holding his cheek.

**"I Have no idea." SMC shrugged.**

LUXORD grabbed the cookies and M&M's and started waling towards the front.

WITH LARXENE and MARLUXIA...

"What do we need to find?" LARXENE asks.

"Pizza Rolls and...and...Huh, I can't read this..." MARLUXIA said.

"It says Pizza Ingridients Packet..Who wrote this? This is horrible handwriting." LARXENE shook her head.

They portaled to the frozen foods section.

**15 minutes later...**

"Here they are!" MARLUXIA held up some Pizza Rolls.

"And here's the Pizza Making Stu-" LARXENE stops and stared at MARLUXIA.

"What?" MARLUXIA shrugged.

There is a floating slice of Pizza behind him.

"There's something behind me, isn't there?" MARLUXIA asks.

"Yeah." LARXENE shook her head slowly, like in the horror movies.

_CHOMP!_

The PIzza slice bit MARLUXIA.

"GET IT OFF MEH! IT'S MESSING UP MY HAIR!" MARLUXIA starts running around screaming.

"Come back!" LARXENE ran after him.

**AT THE FRONT OF THE STORE...**

"We all done?" VEXEN asks.

"Ye-UGH!"

LUXORD is ran over by MARLUXIA.

"Let's leave." VEXEN said.

They leave.

"Hey, you stole all that stuff!" SELPHIE yells."Oh shit, everyone always steals stuff from here..."

**BACK AT THE ABANDONED CASTLE...**

Numbers 4, 6, 11, and 12 came back to find everyone was swimming in a indoor pool.

RIP! RIP! RIP! RIP!

They tear off their clothes to reveal swimsuits and they jumped in.

"I'm gonna do it!" XIGBAR sceams. He has to, because the

driving board is 10000000 feet tall.

"You're gonna die!" AXEL yells back.

"No I'm not!"

"!"

"WHAT THEOHMYGOOOOOOODDD!" XIGBAR starts screaming.

EVERYONE wtached as bullets and blood start raining from the sky.

"GET AWAY FROM MEH!"

"WHAT IS IT?" Demyx shouts.

"IT'S A SNAKEHEAD!"

"As I will continue to say, if you don't know what I'm talking about, try looking it up on google. The movie is a horror movie called Snakehead Terror. It's pretty good, but bloody." SMC inturrupts.

"SOMEBODY!" AAUUUAUGGGHHHH!"

Everyone watched as XIGBAR fell and slammed into the house.

_WHAM!_

"Watch my dive! Watch my dive!" Roxas says, from the not as high diving board.

ROXAS jumped and dove in.

_SPLASH!_

The second ROXAS got to the bottom , he started screaming.

"GET ME OUTTA HERE! WHERE"S THE SURFACE?" ROXAS shrieked.

ROXAS swam until he came up under SAIX and his daffy duck raft.

"Kingdom Hearts, SAIX! Do not float above me when I am dieing in the abyss. XEMNAS!" ROXAS shouts.

"What is it now?" XEMNAS lifts up his sun glasses a bit.

"Your bitch almost killed me with his, uhh, Daffy Duck raft over here. Your dog tried to murder me in your pool." ROXAS complained.

"What?" SAIX growled.

"Float away from me, float away." ROXAS shooed SAIX away.

"FINE!"

SAIX floated away from ROXAS.

**6 HOURS OF SWIMMING LATER...**

Now everyone is inside the house except for XIGBAR, AXEL, and LEXAEUS.

LEXAEUS is videotaping XIGBAR and AXEL on the trampoline, just incase something happens and they get sued.

"What are you two idiots doing?" LEXAEUS asked.

"One, I'm not an idiot." XIGBAR said."Two, we're gonna do slam dunks, for your information."

"Neither am I." AXEL added.

"Sure..." LEXAEUS rolled his eyes.

"DON'T ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME! I'LL SHOOT'EM OUT!" XIGBAR YELLED.

_BOING! BOING! SWOOSH!_

Then, XIGBAR jumped twice and slammed the basketball into the hoop.

"(lands on the ground) I did it! I TOLD you I was no idi-"

The basket ball hoop starts falling down.

_CREEEAAAKK! WHAM!_

The basketball hoop whacked XIGBAR in the back of his head.

"Owwww..." XIGBAR groaned.

XIGBAR got back on the trampoline with the basketball and tried again.

_BOING! BOING!_

_SWOOSH! WHAM!_

XIGBAR got stuck in the basketball hoop.

"Oi, What the crap? I'm stuck!" XIGBAR shouted through laugher.

"Lexaeus!" AXEL demanded."Tell me you have that camera on. And don't lie."

"I do..."

XIGBAR is wiggling around.

"I can't get out!" XIGBAR laughed.

"This is never getting old. Here!" AXEL laughed.

_SMACK!_

AXEL threw the other basketball at XIGBAR.

_WHAM!_

It hit XIGBAR in the stomach.

"I think I'm coming loose!" XIGBAR said.

_SWOOSH! CRACK!_

XIGBAR fell and hit his head on the concrete. He started bleeding.

"Oh good kingdom Hearts, VEXEN!" LEXAEUS yelled.

VEXEN came running in.

"What? AAAHH-"

VEXEN wasn't looking and he slipped on XIGBAR's blood.

_THUMP! CRACK!_

VEXEN fell and cracked his head.

"That's just dumb." AXEL said.

Then, MARLUXIA and XALDIN ran out.

"(sees blood) Ewww..." MARLUXIA fainted.

_THUMP! CRACK!_

"I'll get Xemnas..." XALDIN sighed.

2 MINUTES LATER...

XEMMAS and XALDIN ran out, followed br SAIX, LUXORD, and LARXENE.

"Whats-WOAH!" XEMNAS said.

"EEHHKKK!" XALDIN shrieked.

"Ow." SAIX said.

"BLOODY HELLL!" LUXORD yelled.

"Eeep!" LARXENE screamed.

_THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! _

XEMNAS and XALDIN slipped on MARLUXIA's blood. SAIX, LUXORD and LARXENE tripped over XEMNAS and XALDIN. They fell and cracked their heads.

"What are you people, blind?" AXEL exclaimed.

"Wow..." LEXAEUS said." Total chaos in...(checks watch)...5 minutes."

ZEXION looked out the back door.

"I'll call 911..." ZEXION sighed.

**30 MINUTES LATER IN THE HOSPITAL...**

"Your friends will be fine." The Doctor said.

"Good.." AXEL sighed.

"Please take them home."

_BOOOOSH!_

Now the hospital is on fire.

"Please." The DOCTOR begged.

"Okay." LEXAEUS agreed.

**LATER IN THE GYM IN THE DESTINY ISLANDS CASTLE...**

"Team 1 will be Demyx, Axel, Roxas, Xigbar, and Zexion." XEMNAS said.

"Team 2 will be Xemnas, myself, Xaldin, Vexen, Luxord, and Marluxia." SAIX said.

"YAY, no old people on out team!" XIGBAR yelled.

"Aren't you?" ROXAS raised his eyebrow.

"I'm only twelve years old." XIGBAR shrugged.

"What about me?" LEXAEUS asked.

"Go stand in the middle of the gym." XEMNAS ordered.

So LEXAEUS went and stood in the middle of the gym. Then some DUSKS rolled a cart of dodgeballs in.

"What now?" LEXAEUS shrugs.

Everyone grabbed dodgeballs.

"DODGEBALL!" Everyone yelled.

"WAIT! NOO! !" LEXAEUS screeched.

_WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! _

"HIT 'EM HARDER! MWAHAHAHHAHHAHAH!" XEMNAS screamed in malicious joy.

VEXEN threw a ball of ice at LEXAEUS.

_THUMP!_

"MY LEG! MMMMYYYYYYYYY LEEEEEEEEGGGG!" LEXAEUS shrieked, falling to his knees while grasping his leg.

"BURN, YOU RETARD!" AXEL yelled, thrwoing flaming dodgeballs at LEXAEUS.

"(set on fire) I'M ON FIRE! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" LEXAEUS starts running around.

_WHAM!_

SAIX hit a DUSK in the crotch with a dodgeball.

"COME ON!" Another DUSK yelled.

"DANCE, WATER, DANCE!" DEMYX strummed his sitar and a puddle appeared in front of LEXAEUS path.

"WWAAAHH!"

_SLIP! THUMP!_

LEXAEUS slipped and fell on the floor.

"GET HIM!" ROXAS shouted.

Everyone decends on LEXAEUS like a pack of bears.

_WHAM! WHAM! SMACK! SMAKCK! BAM! BAM! CHOMP! CHOMP! WHACK! WHACK! SLAP! SLAP!_

"Ugh...X _ X." LEXAEUS falls out.

"YAY!" ZEXION shouted.

"NOW, WE FEAST!" XEMNAS announced regally."What do we want?"

"PIZZA!" Everyone yelled.

"What do everyone want?"

"Hawaia-" But XIGBAR gets intturupted by ZEXION.

"Hawaiian has two i's." ZEXION said.

"SHUT UP!"

"Olives." XALDIN said.

"Cheese." VEXEN said.

"Anchovies." ZEXION looked up from a rather large novel.

"Not the fishies!" DEMYX exclaimed.

"Mushroom." SAIX coughed.

"4 Cheese." AXEL yelled.

"Must you yell?" SAIX asked.

"Yes, yes I must." AXEL nodded.

"Vegetarian!" DEMYX said.

"Pepperoni." LUXORD said in a bad Italian accent.

"You already have an accent. Don't try to fake one." Brian the dog from Family Guy said."AHHHH!"

_BANG!_

Stewie shot Brian in the leg.

"You still owe me 5 dollars." Stewie said.

"Meat Lovers." MARLUXIA said.

"Cheese!" ROXAS yelled. He is holding XIGBAR's arm.

"Wha?" XIGBAR looked down at ROXAS.

"And I want Supreme with everything on it." XEMNAS said, finishing writing all the pizzas on the list.

"To, the pizza place!" DEMYX shouted.

**ONE PORTAL TO THE DESTINY ISLANDS PIZZA PLACE LATER...**

"Welcome to the Pizzaria! What'll it be?" PENCE asked.

"We'll have, 1 Supreme, 1 Hawaiian, 1 Olive, 2 Cheese, 1 Anchovie, 1 Mushroom, 1 Four Cheese, 1 Vegetarian, 1 Meat Lovers, and 1 Pepproni Pizzas. All large!" DEMYX said.

"Dang. That'll be 553 munny."

"Roxas, I need 153 more money." DEMYX waits for a second."Roxas?"

DEMYX turns around to see ROXAS and XIGBAR making out.

"Um, Roxas, I need more munny." DEMYX poked ROXAS.

"Eh?" ROXAS looked up." Oh, Okay."

ROXAS handed DEMYX 153 more munny. And then he goes back to making out, with AXEL joining in.

"Thanks. It'll take a bit." PENCE walked to the back.

2 minutres later, Seifer, Fujin, and Rai walked in.

"Pack of fags." Seifer says To XIGBAR, ROXAS, and AXEL. Then he turns to PENCE."I want 1 Pepperoni, 1 Meat Lovers, and 1 Vegetarian, Fat ass."

"Hey?" PENCE exclaimed.

"Leave him alone, Dumbass Fag Hater." XIGBAR growled.

"Quiet, Pirate."

"Leave, fucktard." AXEL said.

"You too, Lavahead."

"DO NOT DISS MA HAIR..." AXEL warned.

"Lavahead." FUJIN said.

"Shut it, bitch." ROXAS said.

"We'll beat yo ass, y'know." Rai glared at them.

In anime fashion, lighting exrupts from everyones forehead and the background turned to fire as everyone growled at eachother.

"THIS IS !" XIGBAR screamed.

**"SPARTA!" SMC yelled.**

_WHAM! WHAM! SMACK! SMAKCK! BAM! BAM! CHOMP! CHOMP! WHACK! WHACK! SLAP! SLAP! WHAM! WHAM! SMACK! SMAKCK! BAM! BAM! CHOMP! CHOMP! WHACK! WHACK! SLAP! SLAP! WHAM! WHAM! SMACK! SMAKCK! BAM! BAM! CHOMP! CHOMP! WHACK! WHACK! SLAP! SLAP!_

"What does that blond haired guy have against gay people?"

DEMYX asked.

"I dunno. MANAGER!" PENCE shouted.

SORA walked out.

"What the hell?" MANAGER SORA asked."(clears throat) YOU GUYS!

Everyone froze.

"Thank you!"

"Here's your pizzas Demyx. See ya." PENCE handed DEMYX the pizzas.

The nobodies portaled away.

**AT THE ABANDONED CASTLE...**

"Did you get the pizzas?" XEMNAS asked.

"(limping) Hell yeah." XIGBAR said.

"What the heck happened?" ZEXION asked.

"We had to give some little brats a ass-whooping." AXEL said, sitting down.

"Aww, I wanted to whoop peoples asses..." ZEXION mumbled dejectedly.

"I know." DEMYX patted ZEXION's head. Then he turned to ROXAS."Why were you two making out?"

"I really don't know." XIGBAR shrugged.

"Nevermind!" XALDIN yelled.

AXEL dropped the pizzas on the table.

"DIG IN!" XEMNAS shouted.

_!_

**A FEW MINUTES LATER...**

"I, am full. Everybody else?" XEMNAS questioned, holding his stomach.

"Yeah." Everyone sighed.

_CRASH!_

A flying monkey suddenly burst through the window.

"WE REQUEST THE HAIRY, UGLY ONE. GIVE HIM TO US!" The monkey screeched.

"Which ugly one?" XIGBAR asked."We gotta whole bunch of ugly people."

"Like you?" SAIX asked.

"I"ll kill you." XIGBAR growled.

"Su-AUGh!"

XIGBAR jumps on SAIX and starts mauling him.

"Xaldin..." XEMNAS raised a eyebrow at XALDIN.

"I did nothing!" XALDIN exclaimed.

The FLYING MONKLEY picked XALDIN up and flew away, leaving a note.

"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" XALDIN screamed.

"(grabs note) Let's see-" ZEXION said.

**Organization XIII,**

**We command you to give us bananas or you'll never see Xaldin again.**

**Signed, Monkey King**

**P.S. - About 20 bunches.**

**P.P.S. - Xaldin smells like moldy cheese and sweaty dreadlocks.**

"Dang." DEMYX said.

"Oh Kingdom Hearts..." XEMNAS shook his head."Axel, Roxas, Demyx, and Xigbar go to Tarzan's world and get the bananas. Where is Xaldin?"

"(Looks at note) Wonderland." ZEXION said.

"NOT WONDERLAND!" ROXAS screamed."I have such bad memories..."

"I don't want to risk you alls lives for Xaldin's..." XEMNAS said.

"I say we leave him." MARLUXIA said.

"But then we'll have no cook." ROXAS added.

"Oh yeah..." Everyone sighed.

"Just go..." XEMNAS opened a portal.

"Fine..." AXEL said."But can we beat him up when we get him back?"

"Yes, yes you may."

The nobodies went through the portal and ended up on Deep Jungle.

**IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CANYON-THING, PAST THE CAMP, WHERE YOU FIGHT SABOR ONCE...**

"Bananas..Where are thay..." AXEL scratched his head.

In the FAR, FAR distance, they saw banana trees.

"Let's go!" DEMYX shouted.

ROXAS is staring at some trees.

"What are you doing?" AXEL asked.

"Do you not see those retarded eyes in the trees. I mean Good Kingdom Hearts!" ROXAS yelled.

SABOR jumps out.

"RROOAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!"

"Atta-" But AXEL is cut off by bushes rustling.

"What now?" ROXAS exclaimed.

HIPPIES jump out and they're armed with 'no kill animal signs'.

"NO KILL LEOPARD!" They yell.

"Freaking hell, it's hippies! And they smell like dirt!" XIGBAR shouted.

"What do we do?" ROXAS asked.

"Whack'em!" DEMYX said.

"Burn them!" AXEL said." Demyx, go behind them, and when we approach them, hit'em."

"Okay." DEMYX snuck off and magical torches appear in the nobodies hands.

"BURN!" Everyone screamed.

"No, not fire!" The Hippies yell.

_WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!_

DEMYX bashed the Hippies in the head.

"They're dead!" DEMYX said.

"BURN!"

The nobodies dropped the torches on the HIPPIES. They die.

"Kill the leopard!" AXEL screeched.

Everyone summoned their weapons.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHH!" SABOR screamed.

_WHAM! WHAM! SMACK! SMAKCK! BAM! BAM! CHOMP! CHOMP! WHACK! WHACK! SLAP! SLAP! WHAM! WHAM! SMACK! SMAKCK! BAM! BAM! CHOMP! CHOMP! WHACK! WHACK! SLAP! SLAP! WHAM! WHAM! SMACK! SMAKCK! BAM! BAM! CHOMP! CHOMP! WHACK! WHACK! SLAP! SLAP!_

MUSIC played the Final Fantasy 7 Victory Music!

"We won, we won!" DEMYX said.

"Let's go get those bananas!" ROXAS points to the FAR east.

They start walking.

**3 HOURS LATER...**

"Are we there yet?" XIGBAR asked.

"No." ROXAS said.

"Are we there yet?" XIGBAR repeated.

"Nooo." DEMYX said.

"Are we there yet?" XIGBAR asked.

"NO." AXEL growled.

"Are we there yet?" XIGBAR asked.

"NOOOOOOOO!" AXEL screamed.

"Are we the-"

"YEEEEEESSSSS!" Everyone shrieked.

_WHAM!_

A banana falls and hits XIGBAR in the face.

"Ow..."

Then, another leopard with fucked up eyes jumps out along with SORA.

"I'll handle this." XIGBAR stepped forward."GO, CHARIZARD!"

XIGBAR throws a Pokeball and CHARIZARD comes out.

"CHAAAAARRRRR!" CHARIZARD yells.

SORA transforms into Wisdom Form.

"Time for super charged up Firaga!" SORA shouts.

"CHARIZARd, use Flamethrower!" XIGBAr yells.

"Now you know fire plus fire equals a explosion or bigger fire." AXEL said.

"Not if you use my level 100 charizard, then it maked death!"

_! _

CHARIZARD kills SORA and the leopard.

"YAY!" XIGBAR makes charizard return.

"W00T!' DEMYX said.

"Grab the bananas!" AXEL Said.

They grab 20 bunches of bananas and put them in the super-sized item bag.

"To wonderland!"

The nobodies portal to wonderland.

**IN GOD KNOWS WHERE...**

"My plan is perfect." Said a evil guy who is trying to eat beef stew in a hot dog bun."OHSHIT! MY CROTCH!"

The evil guy spills the HOT beef stew in his crotch.

"Oh god..."

**IN WONDERLAND...**

They appear in that room where you drink the sleep potions so you can get raped.

"Okaaayy. How do we get small?" AXEL asked.

"Zzzz...Drink..potions...on table...Zzzz.." The Doorknob snored.

"If you weren't a doorknob, i'd be convinced you were trying to rape us." ROXAS states.

"Just..drink...zzz.."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHh!" DEMYX and XIGBAR scream. They hide behind AXEL.

Then they drink the potions and get mini sized. Of course, some Heartless appear.

"Outta our way!"

The nobodies pwn the mini-heartless.

"Oh yeah." XIGBAR said.

They go through the hole in the wall. They end up in a green garden thing.

"Keep going." AXEL said.

They go through another hole and they end up in a outdoor throne.

"Farther." AXEL said.

They go through yet ANOTHER hole and they end up in a retarded forest with fucked up mushrooms and stuff.

"Who are you?" ? ? said dramaticly.

"We're from Organization XIII. You stole Xaldin!" XIGBAR yelled.

"Right, the ape that smells bad. Do you have the bananas?" ? ? asked.

"Yeha1" AXEL held up the bananas.

"I am Monkey King! You fell into my trap, you little retards."

A trapdoor opens up under the nobodies.

"Dang." Everyone said.

They fall.

_THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! _

They hit the floor.

"Ow..." ROXAS groaned.

Suddenly, 20 flying monkeys jump out.

"DIE!"

"!" Everyone screamed.

Then, bolts of red lightning killed the monkeys.

XEMNAS appeared in a Darth vader costume...with XALDIN.

"We're saved!" DEMYX shouted.

"No problem." DARTH XEMNAS said."To our new other hideout!"

ONE PORTAL TO THE NEW DETSINY ORAGNIZATION XIII HIDEOUT LATER...

"Did you rescue Xaldin?" LUXORD asked.

"Yes." Everyone said.

"BLOODY HELL, HE'S BETTER THAN ME! BASTARD!" LUXORD screamed.

_SMACK!_

LUXORD smacked XALDIN.

"Hey?" XALDIN exclaimed

"Luxord!" XEMNAS shouted.

"Why are you in a Darth Vader costume?" MARLUXIA questioned XEMNAS.

"Because I can." XEMNAS nodded." And because 4 of you got caught, you all have to be punished."

"Aww man.." AXEL, DEMYX, ROXAS, and XIGBAR groaned.

"I need new book paper." ZEXION added.

"Okay, you 4, go to Staples."

They glare at ZEXION.

**30 MINUTES LATER AT STAPLES...**

In the paper asile, AXEL found some giant sticky notes.

"Sweet!"

"Who to put it on?" ROXAS grinned mailiciously.

"(runs up) I got book paper!" DEMYX said.

"Manager?" ROXAS suggested.

"Nah."

"Xigbar?" DEMYX suggested too.

"(evil grin) Perfect.." AXEL grinned evilly."Mwahahahahaha!"

"O . O" DEMYX and ROXAS stare at AXEL.

The nobodies went to the computer section. They see XIGBAR intently watching Finding Nemo on a computer.

"Yay!" XIGBAR yelled.

"Go." AXEL whispered.

"(walks up) Hi!" DEMYX said to XIGBAR.

"Hi!" XIGBAR responded without turning around.

"Turn around." ROXAS ordered.

XIGBAR got up and turned around.

"What?" XIGBAR asked.

_STICK!_

AXEL stuck the giant sticky note to XIGBAR's face.

"(starts walking around) I can't see!" XIGBAR shouted.

_WHAM!_

"Ow? Was that a computer?"

The COMPUTER breaks.

"Dang." AXEL sighed.

Suddenly, a AT-AT from Star Wars burst through the ceiling.

"(girly scream) EEEEEEEIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" ? shrieked.

The nobdies turn around to see..XALDIN?

"Xaldin?" AXEL asked.

"I forgot to mention I saw Xaldy." DEMYX shrugged."Oh well."

"(grabs note of off Xigbar) RUN AWAY!" ROXAS yelled.

Everyone portaled away.

"Dammit." The AT-AT said.

"Woah, Stars Wars."

The AT-AT looked down to see Rai.

"YAy!"

_STOMP!_

The AT-AT killed Rai.

**BACK AT THE CASTLE...**

"Who wants to go home?" XEMNAS cooed.

"US!" Everyone else growled.

The nobodies return home.

Okay, I'm kind of sorry but unless I get 1 review, I don't think I'm gonna update.


	4. Retarded Hell HAs Broken Loose! HELL YES

"Xemnas...Xemnas..."

Someone is shaking XEMNAS.

"Xeeeeemmmnnnaaaaaasssss..."

"Hmm...Go...way.." XEMNAS snored.

"Xemnas! XEMNAS! XXXEEEEEEEEMMMNNNNNNNAASSS!"

"WHAT IS IT? I'm trying to slee-"

BONK!

XEMNAS ran his head into LUXORD's.

"Luxord, what are you doing here? This is my room!" XEMNAS exclaimed.

"Xemnas...It's 3 in the afternoon." LUXORD announced.

"Heh?"

"It's 3 pm."

"What? WHAT? WHY DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME U-"

!

!

There is a huge explosion and skittles, cookies, M&m's, and various chocolates, chips, and different colored pancake mix rained in.

"What was that?" XEMNAS asked, glaring at LUXORD.

"A huge explosion of...pancake mix, sugar, cookies, skittles, and other sna-"

"I KNOW THAT!" XEMNAS screamed in LUXORD face."Who. Did. It?"

"

!"

SMACK!

A pancake mix covered ROXAS slammed into the wall.

"Hehehehehehahahah!"

XEMNAS and LUXORD watched a pancake mix covered XIGBAR run into the room, grab ROXAS, and then run back out the room.

"What just happened?" XEMNAS looked at LUXORD.

"I-"

SMACK!

XEMNAS smacked LUXORD.

"ANSWER THE QUESTION!"

"Y'know that stuff we got at the store?"

"Yes..."

"Xigbar, Roxas, Axel, Demyx, someone I don't know, and Marluxia tried to make a huge pancake out of everything and-"

"Appearently it exploded?" XEMNAS said.

"Yes." LUXORD shook his head.

SMACK!

XEMNAS smacked LUXORD again.

"MGGGGRGGGRGRGGRGRGGR..."

They look and there is a huge snake-headed fish with ALOT of sharp teeth laying there.

"Um?" LUXORD whimpered.

"RRRRRRUUUUUUUUNNNNN AAAWWWWWAAAAAYYYYY!" XEMNAS shrieked, portaling away.

CHOMP!

It bites LUXORD.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! XIGBAR! AXEL! SOMEBODY!"

LUXORD screamed.

AXEL runs in with a pistol.

"SHOOT IT!"

BAM! BAM! BAM!

AXEL shoots the fish a bunch of times.

"Tha-" But LUXORD is cut off.

BANG!

AXEL shoots LUXORD in the leg.

"MY LEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGG!"

So AXEL leaves LUXORD to bleed to death.

"Help meh...I've been shot and I can't get up..." LUXORD whined in pain.

"Luxord, Luxord, The Gamble of Fate!" Kingdom Hearts says.

LUXORD is lying on the floor, in pain.

"K-Kingdom Hearts, is that...you?" LUXORD is so confused right now.

"Oh, don't grovel! If there's one thing I can't stand, its peoples groveling!" Kingdom Hearts yells.

"Sorry, B-But I'm not, groveling, I've been sh-"

"And don't apologize! Everytime I try and talk to someone it's, 'sorry this' and 'forgive me that' and I'm not worthy'. What are you doing now?"

LUXORD is looking away."Well I'm averting my eyes."

"Well, don't. It's like that misrable Sora- He's so depressing. NOW KNOCK IT OFF!" Kingdom Hearts screams.

"Yes, Kingdom Hearts." LUXORD nods.

"Right! LUXORD, I have a super awesome but long task for you!"

"Good idea, Kingdom Hearts!" LUXORD yells.

"Call me Lord, and of course its a good idea!" GOD says.

"Kingdom Hearts shall be refered to as God, because its like Organization's god." SMC interrupts.

"Don't inturrupt me!" GOD shouts.

"SHUT UP, or I'll take you out of this story!" SMC says."I am your God!"

"Fine..." GOD mumbles."ANYWAYS,Luxord, you shall now need to get...*dramatic pause* THE MAGICAL RELIC OF THIRTEEN!"

There is a poof and LUXORD's wound disappeared.

"Lord, be praised!" LUXORD yelled in joy.

" 'COURSE I SHOULD BE PRAISED! NOW GO!"

LATER THAT DAY...

There is a few horrible sounds as LUXORD watches a Black Knight kill another knight.

"You fight well, Black Knight." LUXORD says. He walks out from behind a bush."I need some good knights to help me on my super awesome quest."

No response.

"Will you come with me?"

No response.

"Come on!"

No response.

"You make me sad." LUXORD spits on the ground and starts trying to walk past the Black Knight.

"None shall pass." The Black Kinght says.

"What?" LUXORD stopped near the Black Knight, eyesbrows raised.

"None shall pass!" The Black Knight repeated.

"I don't need to fight you, just let me pass." LUXORD says.

"Then you shall die."

"MOVE, YOU TURD!" LUXORD yells.

"I move for no nobody."

"SO BE IT!"

The Black Knight runs at LUXORD but LUXORD chopped his left arm off with a sword.

THUMP!

"Now stand aside, worthy adversary." LUXORD says.

" 'Tis but a scratch." The Black Knight sneers.

"A scratch? Your arm's off!" LUXORD shouts.

"No, it isn't."

"Well what's that then?"

LUXORD points to the Black Knights arm, which is laying in a pool of blood.

"I've had worse." The Black Knight shrugs.

"You liar!" LUXORD yells.

"Come on you pansy!"

The Black Knight runs at LUXORD again, but LUXORD just chops his other arm off. The arm lands on a chipmunk, killing it.

"Squaa..."

"Y'know what. Fuck this. FUCK YOU, YOUR MOM AND EVERYONE ELSE!" LUXORD screamed.

He returns to the Kitchen That Never Was.

"Luxy, hi!" DEMYX says. He is also covered in multi-covered pancake mix.

"MGUYF^*&&FRT.."

"What in the hell was that?" ZEXION asked.

"MJGGGGGGRTA^TFYAGUI(*&Y&UIO!"

Then, AXEL, ROXAS, DEMYX, LUXORD, ZEXION, NA DXIGBAR heard VEXEN scream.

"!

! !"

!"MUSIC plays the Jaws theme.

"Oh good god, not the Land sharks...NOT THE LAND SHARKS!" XIGBAR shrieked.

"Wait? What are Land Sharks?" ROXAS asked.

"2 years ago..." AXEL said in a mysterious, 'im telling you a horror story voice'. The lights had gone out, and he has mysteriously aquired a flash light that he is holding up to his face.

"Sora, run faster. I need the Flashback machine running!" SMC yelled, whiping at SORA, who is in a giant metal mouse wheel.

"FINE! I'm running, I'm running, just don't whip me!" SORA screamed.

"GOOD!" SMC pressed a button on his keyboard and everyone gets to see a Flashback.

FLASHBA-

BZZZZZZZZTTT!

The machine isn't working.

"FUCK! SORA, RUN FASTER OR YOUR GOING IN THE PIT OF A BILLION FANGIRLS!" SMC threated.

"NO, NOT THAT!" SORA starts running at hyper speed, which makes the machine work.

FLASHBACK...

2 YEARS AGO...

"IT'S ALIVE! ALLLLIIIIIIIVVVVEEEEE!" VEXEN screamed in his sleep.

BOOSH!

Suddenly, all of Organization XIII burst through the door, in there pajamas.

" Just because it will be funny, I'll tell you what they're wearing." SMC said.

XEMNAS is in fancy silk pajamas with a silk robe and fluffy bunny slippers(Note, the pajamas are silver and white). SAIX is in a thong and holding onto XEMNAS. XIGBAR is in some violet boxers with no shirt.

"!" The SAIX and XIGBAR fangirls scream.

"BACK YOU CRAZY FANPEOPLES, BACK!" SMC waves a flaming stick at the FANGIRLS and they back off.

XALDIN is in a 1 piece lavendar and pink foot-in pajamas with a pink bunny sleep hat on.

Everyone snickered.

"SHUT UP!" XALDIN yelled, blushing.

VEXEN has on some regular sleep pants and a sleep shirt, which are ice blue. LEXAEUS is wearing the same thing XALDIN has on, but in a MUCH bigger size.

ANd Everyone laughed again.

"Meh." LEXAEUS grunts.

ZEXION is in some black and purple sleep pants and a no-sleeve shirt.

And more FANGIRLS scream.

"BACK!" SMC screamed.

AXEL is in some red boxers and a black t-shirt.

"EEEEE-" But the FANGIRLS are cut off.

"I SAID BBBBBBBBAAAAACCKKKKKKKKK" SMC roared.

SMC shoves the FANGIRLS in the wheel with SORA.

"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!" SORA screams.

"RUN OR I TAZER YOU ALLLL!

They are start running at hyper speed.

Demyx is in some light blue sleep pants and a shirt with a puppy and guitar on it. Complete with furry blue slippers.

Luxord is wearing fancy sleep clothes with playing cards all over them.

MARLUXIA is wearing a pink thong and is trying to get in bed with VEXEN.

"GET AWAY FROM MEH!" VEXEN shrieked.

Roxas is holding onto Xigbar's arm. He is wearing a white t-shirt and yellow sleep pants.

"WHAT'S ALIVE?" XEMNAS demanded.

"Nothing! I was dreaming you fools!" VEXEN shouts.

"Grrrr.." SAIX growled at VEXEN.

"Except you Superior, and you too Saix." VEXEN said, nervously.

"What were you dreaming about?" XALDIN shouted.

"NONE OF YOU BUSINESS, MONKEY! LEAVE MEH ALONE!" VEXEN shrieked.

"Let's go. He's old man PMSing.." AXEL whispered.

"I HEARD THAT!" VEXEN screamed.

"SHUT UP, OLD MAN! I'LL KILL YOU AGAIN!" AXEL pointed at VEXEN.

"JUST FOR CALLING ME A FOOL..." XEMNAS yelled."I SENTENCE SORA TO TALK TO THE MAGIC WEASEL OF CHAMBER! WITH ROXAS AND XIGBAR!"

"Wait, why me?" SORA screamed from some undisclosed location..

"GET OUT!" SAIX shrieked.

IN GOD DOESN'T KNOW WHERE, SOME TIME LATER...

XIGBAR is standing on a large cylinder rock, surrounded by a huge pool of lava while menacing music plays ominously.

"Sora, where are you?" Xigbar screamed into his phone.

Then ROXAS flys down slowly.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" ROXAS screamed.

"It's some sort of chamber!" SORA yelled in his phone, from a unknown location. He also has a deep voice, like Charlie the Unicorn.

"Someone's puberty finally kicked in.." SMC said.

"Is it the chamber of madness of the chamber of death?" XIGBAR asked.

"Does it matter?" SORA asked.

XIGBAR is now on fire.

"Sora, I'm on fire! TELL MEH!" XIGBAR screamed.

"I don't know! Why was a sentenced here? Why was I sentenced anyway?" SORA yelled.

"It's all because of the weasel, Sora!" XIGBAR shouted.

"Talk to the weasel!" ROXAS yelled. We have no idea where ROXAS is.

'What weasel?" SORA questioned.

A weasel in a red robe appears in some unknown place. And it has a fucked up voice.

"*&TG*OGBEYOND THIS GATE! CONFOUND IT!OUO*GTO&A FORCE OF EVIL SO GRANDUHGO(*&TOYG*&JIGHO*&HO-"

"Sora, get down!" XIGBAR said.

A evil fairy in clothes like ZELDA and PETER PAN appear. It shoots a beam of energy at SORA , which hits some rocks and makes a landslide.

"Did you talk to the weasel?" XIGBAR demanded.

"No." SORA said.

The fairy shoots anothe beam of energy which makes another landslide.

"Did you speak to the weasel?" XIGBAR demanded.

"I said no!" SORA shouts.

The fairy shoots anothe beam of energy which makes another landslide.

"Fool! I am the weasel!" XIGBAR said, cackling like hyena.

"Sora, what you done?" ROXAS asked in fear.

"How was I supposed to know? HOW COULD I HAVE POSSIBLY KNOWN THAT?" SORA yelled.

"Sora?" XIGBA asked.

"What?" SORA face-palms.

"We're naked!"

MEANWHILE...

"Why does Xigbar run funny and what is up with his hips, they're like Axel's" SMC's friend, TOM asked.

"Because they're sexy and awesome." SMC slaps his friend.

"I don't understand." LARXENE interrupted.

"YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND!" SMC screamed."I THOUGHT YOU DIED ANYWAYS!"

"Right."

"Right."

"GET ME OUTTA HERE!" SORA screamed.

"Well, I guess puberty finally went through." TOM said.

"GODDAMN YOU PEOPLE!"

BACK AT THE CASTLE THAT NEVER WAS, 5 MINUTES LATER...

XALDIN and LUXORD have just finshed a poker match.

"I WIN..." XALDIN said, raising his eyebrows.

"Wha? WHAT? WHAT?" LUXORD went off the deep end and goes mad."YOU CAN'T WIN! I"M LUXORD! AND YOU CAN"T WIN! I EVEN CHEATED! !"

Luxord went off his rocker and slapped Xaldin, who stabbed him 5 times with his spears and slapped him with them. This made Zexion video tape the incident, which angered Luxord even more. Luxord jumped and Zexion and started biting him, which made Lexaeus go crazy. Lexaeus banged his tomahawk into everything, which broke down a wall. Everyone saw Saix raping a pikachu and eveyone vomited. Ash from Pokemon showed up and beat the crap out of Saix. Said ran to Xemnas and Xemnas destroyed Ash and all of Pokemon. Which included Xigbar's Charizard.

"NOOO, NOT CHARY!" XIGBAR screamed.

"Let's have another Flashback! Then continue the flashback's story!" SMC yelled.

FLASHBACK...

"Where's Xemnas?" Saix asked.

"In his office." Lexaeus said.

XEMNAS is in his office playing with some ducks made out of yarn.

"(Talking for DUCK 1) I luv youuuu." XEMNAS cooed."(Talking for DUCK 2) But I'm married...(DUCK 1) Then let's have sex-"

LEXAEUS opened the door.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" XEMNAS screamed and flung the ducks into the wall.

WHAM! CRASH!

The ducks knock down a picture.

"Superior?"

STOP FLASHBACK.

This flashback caused everyone to pass out from retardation.

7 DAYS LATER...

Unknowingly, they continue the event.

"Ok, so the flashback is repeated." SMC pressed a button and time speeded up until just after the repeated event.

"Superior?" LEXAEUS asked.

"Wha?" XEMNAS exclaimed.

"What were you doing?"

"Nothing! Get out now!" XEMNAS slapped LEXAEUS.

"*sniff, sniff* Why are you mean?" LEXAEUS sniffed."I only came in 'cause Saix wanted you!"

"GET OUT RIGHT NOW, YOU DUMBASS!" XEMNAS yelled."OUT!"

"FINE!" LEXAEUS screamed in rage.

LEXAEUS storms out.

"Okay, that's what happened." SMC said.

"Hey," TOM said."Let's bully Xaldin and Marluxia now."

"That's a good idea." SMC nodded.

"Wait, you never explained where the Landsharks came from." TOM stated.

"Right. I'll do that now. Forget the flashback. We need to explain this thing." SMC said."It all started when Organization XIII recruited the new members which are currently working for me."

"Let me outta here, this is bullshit!" Colonel Beck(Varin Omega) from Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga.

"Lipstick man is right, this zetta sucks!" Sho Minamoto from the World Ends With You.

"QUIET!" SMC slapped the guys naked chests. They are SMC's slaves. He's cheap so he can't afford clothes.

"^%^%%*&^^*&*..." Colonel Beck muttered unheard cuss words.

"Well, then." SMC said. He laughed."It all started when Lexaeus got bit..."

5 years ago...

"!

"!"

"

Everyone woke up. They had never heard Lexaeus scream like a little girl getting mauled by a pack of rabid prarie dogs.

"Do you know that prarie dogs cause more deaths each year that great white sharks?" Luffy from One Piece said.

"Are you in this story?" Roxas asked.

"Nooo..."

"THEN GET THE FUCK OUT RETARD!" Roxas turned into a monkey and mauled Luffy.

Meanwhile, the cause for the scream is because Lexaeus was feeding a moray eel sausages. Then it bit his finger off.

"I LIKEZ DE SAUSAGES FOOLZ!" The Moray eel says.

"I'm tired." TOM said.

"GODDAMN!" SMC yelled.

To Be Continued...Or Else.

Sorry I didn't update, school swamped me with shit.


End file.
